Frozen Picture
by Mrs. What's-Her-Face
Summary: "I didn't want to be living, but I didn't exactly want to be dead either." Bella Harlow had been best friends with Bucky and Steve for years, and it was honest concern when they had started getting involved in the war. But when the both of them had supposedly died, she didn't exactly feel up to life. So she had an idea. A crazy one, but nonetheless an idea. Bucky/OC
1. Chapter 1

**So hello! Welcome to the Prologue. This chapter is in third person, but I'll probably be switching to first person in the next chapter. I apologize if that bothers you but it's just how I'll deal with things. I really hope you do like it, and it's my first attempt at a Captain America story. So I hope I didn't screw anything up. Enjoy!**

* * *

_"No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone."_

Florence + the Machine, _Blinding_

* * *

"There has to be something you're able to do!"

Hunched over the metal lab table, a mess of wild brown hair covered a fairly tall young woman's face. Her body heaved with her deep breaths that seemed on the verge of hyperventilation. A low, almost pained whimper came from her mouth, and she lifted her face up, flipping her long locks out of her vision. She stared at Howard Stark with a pleading gaze.

"H-He's a super soldier. He's-he's not-" She squeezed her bloodshot green eyes shut, trying to halt a tear from escaping over her lashes. "He can't be dead."

Stark, who was pacing around the lab anxiously, stopped to pinch the bridge of his nose. He glanced at the young woman, and she also noticed that he had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep.

"He may have been stronger than most men, but he wasn't invincible, Bella," Stark said. Bella let out a ragged breath.

Wasn't? "You're talking about him as if he's dead, Stark." She snapped. "We don't know that for sure." She stood up straighter, fixing her skirt.

"Look, Belle," Stark walked to stand beside her. He placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "I've made sure that they're still looking for him, but they haven't found any evidence that he is alive. Soon they'll just start to give up."

Bella shrugged off his hand. Her tone hardened. "I'm going home." She grabbed her jacket from the chair behind her. Stark weakly protested, but she was already out the door.

The streets weren't as crowded as normal. It was nearing sunset, and the quietness around Bella made her want to hit something. She needed things to take her mind off of her best friends.

Steve and Bucky.

It was all to much for her. First she had lost Bucky, the one she had been the slightest bit closer to, and the man that had held a special piece of her heart. They hadn't been together. No, Bella didn't think Bucky wanted that. She wasn't sure she wanted that either. She was happy with best friends, and she was too busy with her work anyways.

She was somewhat of a scientist. Stark had sort of taken her under his wing when they had met nearly four years ago at one of his expos. They both showed the same interest for inventing, but Bella was nowhere near as advanced as Howard, and she let him teach her bit by bit. They had grown pretty close.

But then she had lost Steve. The innocent, chivalrous, loyal, and kind Steve. He was the boy to comfort her when she had broken up with her boyfriends, and the one that had her deciding that she didn't have time for a boy. Most of them weren't exactly worth it.

"Bella!" She didn't turn at the familiar voice, and the clacking of heels became louder as Janice Stewart appeared beside her. The breathless sandy-haired woman looked at Bella with wide blue eyes. "Would you slow down?"

Janice was anything but a friend to Bella. Sure, they had been familiar with each other in their younger teenage years, but that time was past. She was annoyingly persistent in trying to become friends again, but all she was to Bella was a pest.

"I don't have time to talk, Janice." Bella nearly snapped, pushing back an unruly curl that fell into her eyes. Janice frowned, struggling to keep up with her.

"I just wanted to say that I really am sorry about Bucky," She then added," And Steve. I knew how close you were to them."

Bella clenched her jaw. "Your apologies are appreciated." _And worthless._ "Thank you." She started to speed up again. Janice sighed, scurrying forward again.

"I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come with me to meet some of the boys." She smiled. "You know, Billy Donald'll be there. It could get your mind off things."

Bella stopped in front of her apartment and turned to the woman. "Janice, I really don't feel like going out." She forced herself to be polite. "I would appreciate it if you would leave."

Janice nodded, looking crestfallen. "O-of course-" Bella shut the door in her face.

Sighing, she locked the door behind her. She ventured further into the apartment, stopping in front of a mirror in the hall. She glanced at her reflection.

Her eyes were dull, and stared back wanly. Bella touched her rat's nest of hair lightly with the tips of her fingers, and then attempted to comb through it. Her hand got caught in large knots, and she sighed.

Her face was paler and seemed to be thinner and her cheeks more hollow. Steve and Bucky fighting and then dying had destroyed her appetite.

A soft meow made her glance down from the mirror, and a light gray cat sat at her feet. Bella's lips twitched up. She bent down, stroking the cat across the back.

"Hey Ronnie," Bella said quietly. The cat rolled onto it's back, showing it's stomach. She reached out to rub his belly, and when she did, Ronnie latched onto her hand, biting down playfully before licking the spot. Bella laughed, but it sounded weird. It sounded forced. "It's just you and me now."

That triggered the crying. She sat down beside the cat, pulling her legs up to her chest. She buried her head in her knees, and Ronnie stood, rubbing his head against the owner's legs. Bella sobbed quietly as the natural light faded from the room, leaving her in the dark.

Her sobs stopped after a while and she was left just staring at her skin. She didn't understand. She didn't understand how they were there for nearly 8 years and then suddenly they were taken away quicker than she could blink. Bucky had assured her that they knew what they were doing, and she still didn't doubt it one bit. He said that they would be fine, but he was gone along with Steve.

As dramatic as she knew she sounded, she didn't really want to go on. It'll pass in time, she thought.

But it didn't.

Bella guessed that it would take more than a few days for her to function properly again, but it had been more than that. Stark, Peggy, and everyone else that was close to Steve and Bucky started to move on, but Bella just couldn't shake the sadness. She had persistent nightmares that contained violent and vivid images of Steve burning alive as the flames from the plane engulfed him, or Bucky falling to his death. Bella woke up screaming and crying every night.

Though she felt selfish. Everyone was doing their jobs and what they were supposed to do normally now, but she hadn't gone to help Howard in nearly 2 months. She also felt pathetic. She wasn't strong enough to get over their deaths. She was becoming even more of a mess.

However one Monday morning, Bella walked into a diner with an idea.


	2. Chapter 2

_"I've got this feeling that we're dead, and there's nothing more."  
_

Gabriel Bruce, _Sleep Paralysis_

* * *

_"Mom's been wanting to meet you," Charlie tightened his grip on my hand, and I smiled up at him. _

_"Really?" I asked. He nodded, a proud look on his face. "When?" I watched another couple walk by and I gave them a polite nod, which they did back. _

_"I told her that you'd meet her whenever you wanted to. She's awful nervous though. S'been tidying up the house ever since she mentioned it, n'going through recipe books like no tomorrow." He laughed. I laughed too. _

_"I'll have to check what I have this week though, but maybe I could come on Saturday?" I wiped a piece of lint from my tan skirt. My kitten heels tapped quietly on the pavement. _

_"That sounds great." He grinned. _

_A rather small boy knocked into his shoulder when he walked by, and I watched Charlie's face contort into anger. The boy turned back, and I saw that he wasn't a boy, but a young man. _

_He had a narrow face, light eyes, and a lanky form. He looked nearly half a foot smaller than me, and a foot smaller than Charlie. His eyes were sincerely apologetic as he looked from me to Charlie. _

_"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you." The young man said softly, holding his hands up in what seemed like surrender. I opened my mouth to reassure him, but Charlie beat me to it, saying something that surprised myself and the young man. _

_"What the hell?" He growled, and I found myself staring open-mouthed at my boyfriend._

_Charlie had issues with his anger sometimes. Usually, it wasn't directed at me, and at one of his friends or in some cases my friends. I knew that his bad temperament got the best of him, so I tried to understand it. I usually did. _

_"I-I'm really sorry-"_

_"Apologies won't cut it this time, pal," Charlie growled, grabbing the scruff of the young man's neck, dragging him into an empty alleyway. I watched with wide eyes as he threw him against the wall, throwing a punch into the poor guy's face. _

_"Charlie!" I lurched forward, grabbing his elbow. He shrugged me off, sending another punch into the man's stomach. The man winced, weakly trying to fight back. I stood beside Charlie, tugging at his shirt, urging him to stop. "What are you doing? He didn't do anything!" _

_Charlie stopped to turn his angry gaze on me. "Stay out of this," He grabbed my shoulder, roughly pushing me away. I stumbled, but bounced back. _

_The odd thing was that though he had the chance in those ten seconds that I had Charlie's attention, the man didn't run. In fact he seemed to have more confidence than earlier. Charlie turned back to the young man, who opened his mouth to say something. _

_"You shouldn't lay your hand o-" He was cut off by another punch to the jaw. _

_I went in for one more attempt to stop my boyfriend, grabbing his wrist before it could touch the man's face. Charlie let out a growl, shoving me even harder than the last time, and I lost my balance, landing on my butt. I sat up, cringing when I felt the burning in the palm of my hands, signaling minor scrapes. _

_I opened my mouth to shout, but I heard someone running towards us, and I looked up just as another unfamiliar man crouched down beside me, and he glanced at the fight. "Are you alright, miss?" _

_I nodded, and he stood, gently helping me up. He gave me a reassuring smile, before running over to the fight. _

_He pulled Charlie away, throwing a punch that made me feel sorry for the guy. Charlie stumbled back with wide eyes. "Pick on someone your own size!" That had him scurrying away like a pack of dogs was at his heels. I scoffed. _

_"Steve, why the-" The second man's blue eyes darted over to me. He lowered his voice. "-why the hell do you have to get yourself in so much trouble?" _

_"It wasn't my fault!" Steve exclaimed, and he looked over at me where I was standing awkwardly by a trash can. "Besides, he pushed her! He shouldn't-"_

_"Yeah, I know I saw." He rolled his eyes. He ran a hand through his short hair, and walked over to me with a smile. _

_I took in his features. His eyes were a clear blue, and his brows were thick and dark like his had a small amount of scruff on his jaw and across his chin and upper lip, suggesting that he hadn't shaven in a few days or so. He was taller than Charlie, and more muscular than him as well. I compared him and his friend. Steve was so much smaller than him. They looked like an odd pair. _

_"James Barnes, ma'am, but you can call me Bucky." _

_He held out his hand, and I placed mine in his. He lowered his head to drop a quick kiss onto my knuckles. I smiled. _

_"I'm Bella," I said, and I looked past him at Steve. He stepped forward nervously. _

_"My name's Steve, Steve Rogers." He offered a wave, and I watched a light blush dust across his cheeks. I laughed softly. _

_"It was nice to meet you both, but I'm afraid I really should be going leaving. Maybe I'll see you later?" _

_Bucky and Steve both looked at each other and nodded. I nodded as well, and smoothed out my skirt before walking towards the mouth of the alley. I waved over my shoulder. "Bye, boys!"_

* * *

The diner was more crowded than usual. The sound of people chatting excitedly filled my ears, and they pointed to headlines on the newspaper that I couldn't read. I scrunched up my nose at the smell of cigarette smoke, and ignored Janice who sat at a table on my left.

My heart beat excitedly in my chest at the idea that I had come up with the night before. Though I had missed my normal nights of sleep I had decided that I should use my time for something productive, and those hours had become occupied with coming up with crazy ideas. Like cryogenic sleep.

Honestly, I had only heard the term from Howard, who had yet to figure out a sure and 100 percent positive way to make it possible for normal and healthy people, and after going over some of our conversations from the last few months, I had contemplated the idea for hours. When it was finally time to meet Howard here at the diner, it made more than enough sense.

So I decided to ask him about it.

I found him near the back of the diner, talking to one of the waitresses. His eyes fell on me, and he motioned her away. He gave me a smile. I sat down slowly.

"Bella," He breathed, reaching over to pat my hand. I watched the movement, before sliding my eyes up to his.

"Cryogenic sleep." I blurted out. I watched his expression change from relief to confusion. I sighed. "I want to know about it."

Howard swallowed. "I haven't worked out all the details-"

"Please, Howard. Please."

He sighed. "Look, Belle, I don't really know if I want to tell you this. You haven't been in the best shape these last few months-"

"I want you to do it to me," I snapped. His eyes widened. He leaned back in his seat, surprise written all over his face.

Then he laughed nervously, taking a large gulp of his water. Howard sat there for a second. I tapped my foot and fingers impatiently.

"What?"

"I'm pretty sure you heard what I said, Stark."

Howard shook his head. "Bella, it's extremely dangerous, not to mention illegal!" He hissed. "You're not that strong, you're normal and weaker. I know you're still mourning, and I understand that, but I would never let you risk your life for something like that!"

"Please, Howard!" I pleaded. "I know the consequences, but I trust you. And it would only be for a few years! Just let me try it! If I die it's my fault!" Then I smirked. "Besides, we all know you've done some illegal stuff in your life."

He gave me an exasperated glare. "Will you shut it?" He glanced at a woman who gave him a scathing look. "Sweetheart."

I rolled my eyes. "Just think about it," I smiled, and stood. I turned to leave, but then paused, turning back around. "I mean really think about it."

Howard rose an eyebrow, and I turned once again, walking towards the doors.

* * *

"You can wake me up in..." I glanced at the calendar. I sat on one of the tables in Howard's lab, memorizing the small beeps and ticks of the machines in the background. Howard waited patiently for my answer. "Hold on, let me check when I'm free..." I tapped the pen against my mouth. He snatched it from me.

"I may just never wake you up," I heard him mutter under his breath. I smirked.

"Oh hush, you were the one whining about how I could die from doing this." I laughed. "You'd miss me."

"Yes, I would. I would also get over it," He shot back, his words directed at a more touchy subject. I winced. Ouch, that one stung.

I cleared my throat. "Right. Now, I have my things," I pointed to the trunk that sat next to a metal lab table. It's lid was still open,and I glanced at the picture that sat on top of my other valuables.

It was a picture of Steve, Bucky and I. It was before Steve got the serum. Bucky held me bridal style, and Steve was beside us, stretching up on his toes to Bucky's height. We were all at a fair in the picture, smiling and laughing. I saw a dark spot by Steve's mouth, which I recognized at chocolate ice cream. I smiled.

"Alright," I clapped my hands together. "I'm writing a letter saying that I will be moving to London, and since I don't really have any close relatives we should be pretty safe." I handed him a few papers. "Also, please remember to feed Ronnie. I know you don't like him, but there really shouldn't be a dead cat walking around the house. In fact, I think you should just let him live with you." Howard gave me a look. I grimaced. "No? Alright.

"So you said you're going to do it while I'm unconscious? When is that going to happen?" I cocked my head to the side curiously. He pointed over at a gurney-like table on the other side of the table.

"Right now, if you're ready."

I felt my insides twist and turn nervously. Did I really want to do this? I knew I was reckless, and Peggy told me I got a bit impulsive at times, and I also was prone to being melodramatic, so was this only something that I wanted to do when I was a wreck, or did I really want to go through with this?

No. I'll do it. I want to do it.

I nodded. I followed him over to the gurney. "You can just lay down," He murmured, running a hand through his hair. I nodded.

Kicking off my shoes, I did what he said, the nerves still toying with the edges of my sanity. Come to think of it everything was toying with the edges of my sanity now, so I guess it was a pretty normal thing. I pulled my dress down more.

Howard pulled out a large syringe. My eyes widened and I shied away from it. "What's in that?"

"A little mixture of something to assure you don't die during the process." He injected it into my arm quickly, and I winced.

"Ow."

"It doesn't hurt that bad."

I stayed silent as he grabbed a smaller syringe, plunging that one into my arm as well. He gave me a small smile, smoothing back a piece of my hair. My eyelids grew heavy and my vision focused and unfocused. "I'll see you in a few years, hopefully."

"See..." I slurred, and the walls began to spin. I felt my body start to fall. "See ya..."

The last thing I remember was the gurney being rolled into a bright chamber.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Made me promise I'd try to find my way back in this life._

_I hope there is a way to give me a sign you're okay."_

Within Temptation, _Memories_

* * *

The first and only thing I saw was white.

And then suddenly colors came into the picture, letting me see the first silhouettes of objects. I think there was someone in front of me-or above me- and something long, thin, and black came into my view, waving tauntingly around my face and I couldn't make out what it was. I felt something prick the side of me neck. I let out a gurgling groan.

I heard a steady, rhythmic beeping from beside me, mixing in with the ringing in my ears. I tried to turn my head to see the source of the sound, but hands yanked my face back to its original position. I attempted groggily to push them away but something restricted my arms.

Where was I? Had it worked? I tried to remember everything I could, but the only thing I did remember was Howard telling me to lay down on the gurney. I had thought that maybe I would have dreamed when I was "sleeping", and maybe I did, but I didn't remember any. It felt like it was only five minutes ago I was with Howard. Maybe it was.

As my vision cleared more thoroughly, I made out the face of a young woman leaning over me. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a tight bun, and her green eyes were wide with concern. "Miss Harlow?"

I ignored her, squinting my eyes at the bright light coming from the ceiling, and looked around the room. The walls were pure white, and there were a few machines to my left with wires running out of them, and I glanced tiredly at the IV that was in my arm. The floors were made of light blue tiles and the place smelt strongly of disinfectant. I looked back at the woman.

"Did i' work?" I croaked. She looked confused.

"What do you mean, Miss Harlow?" I sighed, squirming in the restraints.

"Can ya ge' these offa me?" My words slurred together. The woman glanced behind her.

"Doctor?"

I tried to lift up my head to peer around her, but my head felt like a ton of bricks, so I settled for looking around elsewhere. To my right there was large wall length mirror. I saw the reflections of the doctors and nurses working around me, but I was too far down to see myself. I felt the restraints being lifted from my wrists, and I brought my hands up to my head.

I felt normal, not counting how dirty I felt. I fingered a greasy strand of hair. A shorter man came to stand by my bedside, and I tilted my chin up to look at him. He gave me a tentative smile. "Miss Harlow?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes."

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Well, I remember," I paused. "I remember Howard-you know Howard don't you?" The doctor glanced back at the blonde woman. She bit her lip. So I continued."Anyways, Howard told me to lay on the gurney, and I did, and then he injected me with something before I went unconscious."

The man nodded. "That's great. Now can you tell me how you feel? Do you feel dizzy, nauseous...?"

"Just tired."

"Good, good." He smiled. "Can you try to sit up?"

I nodded, bracing my palms on either side of me. I gritted my teeth, using all of the strength I had to push myself up. My arms shook with the effort, and I felt the doctor's hand on my back, supporting me. "You're doing great."

I jumped in shock as the upper half of the bed slowly started to fold up so it rested against my back. I glanced around cautiously, and my eyes settled on the remote in the blonde woman's hand. She smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry."

Slowly, the potential severity of my situation started to dawn on me. I sobered up, swallowing thickly. The hospital gown rose up on my thighs, and I pushed it back down with a shiver. "How long was I sleeping?"

The doctor didn't make eyes contact. So, I continued, "Because I was supposed to be woken up after a few years." They said nothing. "Well?"

"We can't answer that right now, miss."

"Why not? I have the right to know."

No answer. I groaned in aggravation and felt my anger spiking. I grabbed at the roots of my hair. "Can someone please tell me what's going on?"

"Should we get Fury?" I heard a woman whisper. I placed my head in my hands.

"Is it that bad?" I whispered to the blonde. She shook her head.

"No, no, of course not." She said softly. "We just-we just don't want to send you into shock."

"It wasn't just a few years, was it?"

She shook her head.

I pulled my knees up to my chest. "I'm Amber," She said. I nodded.

Amber placed a hand on my back, rubbing up and down gently. I appreciated the comfort, but it didn't help ease my nervousness. How long could it have been? I took another look at the monitors and machines beside me. They looked more developed, and there were more colors on the screens and clearer picture. One of them was attached to the wall, and a image of a pulsing heart was in the top right hand corner. I looked at the doctor. "I'd like to talk to this 'Fury' person."

* * *

"Is that her?"

Bucky stared curiously at the girl from behind the glass, glancing at Steve. Steve nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, that's her," He confirmed.

Bucky sighed, looking back down at his hands. How could he know if he knew her when he couldn't remember her?

They were watching Bella from behind a one way window outside of her hospital room. There were nearly ten doctors of nurses in the room, and one of them was on the phone, most likely getting telling Fury that the girl wanted to speak with him. She looked really uncomfortable, and the nurse beside her rubbed her back.

These last few weeks had been pure torture. Steve was constantly by his side watching him like a hawk. It was like he was waiting for him to snap. Sometimes, when he mentioned a joke or a reference from before Bucky had gotten his memory wiped, all Bucky felt was helpless confusion, so he would just nod. He didn't ask questions about it. He wasn't sure if he could handle to frustration to trying to remember.

He was slowly getting his memory back though. It would be random things, like phrases or images, and he usually got them when he was sleeping (Two nights ago it was his favorite flavor of ice cream), so to make sure that they were actually memories, he would sometimes ask Steve about it. He didn't do it often, but when he did Steve looked ecstatic, and would nod with a beaming smile.

But Bucky hadn't remembered Bella. Yes, when he looked at her he knew she looked familiar, but trying to figure it out just made him annoyed and angry. He looked over at Steve, who still sat looking at Bella with a smile.

His metal hand clenched, making a quiet noise that sounded like metal scraping against metal. "What's her last name?" Steve jumped at Bucky's voice.

"Harlow. Her last name is Harlow."

"What's she like?"

Steve sat up straighter. He thought for a moment. "She's probably one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet." He chuckled. "When she's in a good mood of course. She could always get someone out of bad mood, and says that weirdest things!" Bucky found himself cracking a smile. "She was sort of a scientist and she would always tinker around with scrap metal when she could. I bet she'll love your arm. She was into those sorts of things.

"She's stubborn though, and she barely listens to a word anyone says. Bella did dangerous things sometimes, and we had to go and get her out of it. She never admitted that she needed our help."

Bucky applied those things to the girl sitting in the next room, and it seemed to fit her perfectly. He observed her more thoroughly now. She had bright eyes that Bucky couldn't determine the color of from so far away, and long, wild brown hair. She looked to be about 5'6 and looked pretty small weight-wise, and her skin was fairly pale, clear of any blemishes. She didn't really look like anything special.

From behind them the door clicked open. Both men turned, not surprised to see Fury walking in. He ignored them, walking to the door that was the entrance to the hospital room, and entered.

Steve and Bucky watched Fury pull up a chair, lean back casually and break the news. "You been asleep for about 70 years, Harlow."


End file.
